The other day my wife said to me that she was ashamed of what I am doing. That her friends husband had made a comment about me, and that she felt ashamed. She said “It was like if he asked me if you still were online fooling yourself with stuff that would not make you any money anyway”. She even said “Our friends are laughing behind your back”.

Did I get frustrated or what, did I feel like had failed miserably? Such a feeling of defeat, such a feeling of hopelessness. And I who thought that my wife was slowly understanding. And I who felt so good, so close, and so happy with my results.

But it is just to take it as a man, bite and go on. Make it a lesson and something to learn from. Either keep it a secret to my “IRL” friends and family, or to make them understand. My mission and beliefs were that everyone should see and notice my progress and my success without me having to tell and explain to everyone. To me everything has changed and so much has happened. Am I the only one to see that?

The list below shows you what has happened in just 1 1/2 year, since I started this journey:

• I quit nicotine after more than 30 years of addiction
• My temper is almost gone
• My forgetfulness is almost gone
• I am happy and with a life purpose for the first time in my life
• I am much more fit and exercise a lot more frequent
• I can now write much better (English, inspiration, fingering etc.)
• I am now successful at work and get good assessment from my boss, never happened before
• I am a loving husband and father (not a walking zombie)
• I have patience now, can even go shopping with my wife with without sighing or dying
• I have a lot of new friends and connection on Facebook etc, and many new “IRL” relations
• I am now the president of the condominium association, with big responsibilities and great results

Does it not speak for itself? Do I have to make money to be successful?

For the first time ever I actually did have a genuine conversation yesterday with my wife about how I feel, why I did this and how good I feel about everything right now.  I cannot not say that she was pleased, since she told me that our relation had been the worst ever last year. She did at least seem to understand the necessity for me to do this, and I even got her blessing to carry on if I promised to focus a little bit more about the things that are important to her. What a breakthrough! Communication is an art, especially between male and female…

We all see things from different perspectives, but I thought that everything should be fine now and that my success should have been obvious to see and notice. But my wife expressed that she just had the worst year ever and with no notion of an end to the misery. I can understand her if I look back and remember all the sleepless nights and the struggles in front of the computer in the late evenings. My focus primarily in me and my feelings, not her and her feelings. And it is always hard to change old routines and patterns where doubt and hopelessness arises. I have also noticed lately that now when I do start to care about myself, I do not take “bossing around” any more. But now when I feel success most of the old troubles should be long gone.

My next goal is off course to make money with my new skills, connections and investments. But it is not a necessity to make me feel successful with what I do. I want to make money in order to be able to have a choice. To be able to choose between a regular job or to work online for myself. I also want to make money in order to make my life more fulfilled. To be able to pay others to do the stuff I do not want to do, like cleaning, cooking etc. To be able to buy the luxury stuff I want and to take the family trips I want.

So the answer to the question: Will I endure? Must be, yes I will endure. I will endure because I have to, and I will endure to finally break through financially. It is so easy to give up, but I will endure and I will prosper

Join me as I go along

Take care

/Peter